While driving in my car the other day I heard an old song that instantly transported me to a vivid scene in my life.  I’m a not-yet teenager, sitting in the kitchen and having an after-school snack.  I reach for the radio to tune in a Yankee’s baseball game, as I usually did (back then, games still played in the daytime).  But for the first time, I hesitated.  Instead, I turned the dial to a rock and roll station.

I recall feeling at that moment that something had just shifted in my sense of who I was; who I was becoming.  I believe it was more than just the rumblings of impending adolescence, or thinking about that new girl in class.  It was a new awareness about who this “self” was, inside me; that I was no longer just the person I thought I was a moment before.  It was a turning point in my consciousness about myself.

We experience many turning points in our lives, whenever we shift direction this way or that.  Perhaps a decision about a relationship, or what interests to pursue.  Maybe about an educational or career choice.  Some turning points are conscious, others less so; some may be imposed by family or other persuasive people.  But all involve turning away from one path, and towards another.  And they shape the self that you experience and define as “you,” along the way.

In my work, I often ask people to describe what they think were the positive and negative consequences from their key turning points, because there’s always a message contained in what you turned away from, or towards.  It’s a message from Continue reading →